I recently was introduced to a song by Sara Groves entitled It’s Going to Be Alright, and I love it! Sometimes in life when we’re going through some tough things we get to points where we have our doubts that everything is really going to turn out alright. Sometimes we wonder if we will come out the other end of the storm okay.
Right now in my life there are a lot of things going on. I am at a place where I definitely have to just fully trust Jesus Christ because my human mind doesn’t understand why these things are happening, or where everything is headed. I’d love to tell you that I’ve just trusted Him through it all, and never had any doubts, worried about it, or asked the famous question-why. If I told you that, I would be lying to you.
I did not want to “bother” (I’ll discuss that later in the blog) anyone with all these things that had been wearing me down, so I hadn’t told anyone, and had, to the best of my ability, tried to keep it all hidden behind a smile. But a couple nights ago I found myself laying on my bedroom floor sobbing. I just had so many things running through my mind. I was wondering why these things were happening, and then I was upset at myself for worrying about something that I shouldn’t be, and should be trusting the Lord to take care of. That night I could no longer hide behind a smile and act as if everything was okay, when inside I didn’t feel like things were okay at all. I laid there sobbing for hours wondering if things were really “going to be alright.”
In my brokenness I cried out to God. I was struggling to even find the words to pray, and that’s exactly what I told Him. But my awesome and all-knowing God knew my struggles, and the broken state of my heart. He knows me better than I know myself! He heard my heart’s cry. He understood the reason that the tears flowed from my eyes. Through my tears and sobs I heard His reassuring voice speak to my heart saying…“I love you! I would not allow you to go through something that you couldn’t make it through, and you’re not alone. I’m right beside you through it all. Just trust me, and allow me to show you what I want you to learn through all of this.”
I still am in the storm, but through this storm–the rough winds, cold nights, raging waves, and all that comes with it–God is teaching me a lot. I have decided that I’m going to trust Him, and–as the awesome song says–praise Him in this storm. I still don’t fully understand what He is doing, but I know that He knows what He’s doing, and He loves me so much that He would never put me through something I couldn’t make it through. I, with His help, am riding out the storm, and am trying to learn and soak up all that God wants to teach me through this trial.
I have no doubt, that God is going to bring me through this, and it really is going to be alright. 
Now to the “bothering” part I said I’d get to…
Many times when I get where I feel like I can’t stand against the wind anymore, and it’s pushing me down to the ground, Jesus Christ sends a little boost of strength that helps me stand back up and keep going. Many times He uses my Christian- friends, leaders, or family members, in different ways to help deliver that boost to me. I am very thankful that I have people like that in my life, that allow Jesus to use them like that. A couple years ago I wrestled with Jesus on this one. I would not allow anyone to get close enough to me to become that kind of friend.
A lot of things had happened at that time, and I was afraid to trust people, so I didn’t share ANYTHING that was happening in my life with ANYONE. I just decided that I didn’t want to trust anyone like that…at all. So I kept everything to myself. What I didn’t realize, is that I was building to a disaster. I was bottling and bottling things inside, and didn’t realize that I could only hold so much. God was trying to tell me that I was not intended to bear it all alone, but I wasn’t listening. One day that bottle had fit all that it would hold, and it exploded. I had a mess on my hands, and nobody to blame for it but myself. The reality of what God had been trying to show me all that time slapped me in the face.
Because of some past issues in my life, I tend not to be the open kind of person who just shares what is bothering her. It’s something I struggle a lot with. I have a hard time sharing struggles, and problems with even my closest Christian friends sometimes. It is something God has brought to my attention, and I’m currently trying to deal with.
Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
I have always been okay with the “bear ye” part in the above Bible verse, because I love to try to be there for people when I can, and help share their struggles (and their joys ). But, I’m not so eager about the allowing-others-to-bear-my-burdens part. God has placed some very incredible people in my life, who care and want to be there for me when things are going on in my life, but I just rarely allow them to. Too often, I allow my past to scare me away from sharing things with them, and there is no sense in that at all.
I am alot more open now with my friends and Christian leadership about things going on in my life than I was a couple years ago, but I still struggle with it quite a bit. So I’m still working on it.
I had not intended to blog about this at all, but just really felt like God wanted me to share this on here, so I’m obeying and posting it haha.
2 Comments
March 20, 2008 at 4:17 am
Today, God told me, just as sure as someone whispering in my ear, that my troubles too were over and everything will be okay.
Sounds crazy, but I trust in His love. And strangely, I am not afraid. I look forward to His aid tomorrow, where I will find His deliverance.
May 11, 2008 at 12:11 pm
i see now that my situation is not unique. sometimes it helps to see that others are in similar situations, and that god will see us through….. with faith. thank you.